Divorce and Your Money: A Thoughtful Action Plan

Those in the Divorce business will tell you that they experience an uptick in January. No couple wants to disrupt their family’s holiday, so they push the Divorce off until January. They know that it will be emotional and disruptive, even as they try to minimize the effect on their families.

Here are some thoughts on money matters while preparing for your Divorce

The economic realities

The process of itemizing your property and getting an idea of what will be left after you split it up is routine practice in all 50 states. Some people actually decide to reconcile once they see their financial landscape divided in half. Others use this as a reality check and move forward.

Know that your financial circumstances may change

Certified financial planner Lauren Klein has seen clients make poor decisions such as using retirement funds to help them keep the family home, only to see the house lose value and become an enormous financial burden. Many others overcommit in order to keep the home. They end up with a mortgage that could choke a horse, in a neighborhood that’s beyond their means, with a lavish landscape and gardener. They’d be much better off selling that home, taking the money and buying a smaller home in a modest neighborhood that they can afford.

Waiting too long to separate finances

Do not wait to split joint bank and any other accounts that you share. Change your login information and whatever else you need to do to separate your financial lives. Check your credit report periodically to make sure there aren’t any surprises. Remember that your ex has your social security number and knows your mother’s maiden name. One of my colleagues’ divorced husband died and she inherited nearly $750K of his debt—all of it from accounts that he had not canceled or transferred into his name.

Avoid big ticket, emotional buying

Don’t make any major financial decisions until the divorce is final. Most families deal with varying degrees of financial adjustment as they figure out how to support two households rather than just one. Avoid impulsive purchases until the dust settles.

Do not try to hide money or assets

If you try hiding money or assets to keep them out of the “marital estate,” the risks are serious penalties and possible jail time. Bad idea. This is not worth the risk.

Think about your career and making more money. You’re going to need it

If you’re currently not working, try to get a job, especially one with health insurance. If you are working, look for ways to advance in your career or increase your income because a divorcing individual will likely need a 30% increase in income to maintain his/her standard of living.

California Document Preparers has helped hundreds of families get divorced

Our dedicated team has assisted hundreds of couples with uncontested Divorces. If you and your spouse can agree on division of property and a parenting plan, we can save you a considerable amount of money. 

Guided Divorce: A specially trained, neutral third-party

If, however, your situation is more complex and you and your spouse cannot agree on how to divide your assets and raise your children, CDP’s Guided Divorce may be the right solution for you. We’re a specially trained, neutral third-party who work with divorcing couples to guide them through the issues that have stalled their Divorces. Together we reach a mutually acceptable resolution. There’s no judge, no winning or losing. Instead, our Guided Divorce is based on the principles of negotiation, an open mind and compromise.

We’re responsive and available throughout the process. It starts with an office visit to review the Guided Divorce process. Schedule an appointment today to talk to one of our team. We’re helpful, compassionate and affordable.

Redefining “Family”: Divorce Lawyers Divorce But Stay Connected

Vanessa Hammer and Brendan Hammer are two divorce lawyers who fell in love and married. Both came from families who had struggled financially, which helped mold their shared values and goals. Vanessa came from a large Mexican-American family in Houston. Brendan was the only child of an Hispanic mother.

When Vanessa graduated from law school in 2006 she moved to Chicago where Brendan had one more year. They planned to move to Houston after his graduation. The early years were filled with hard work as they built their careers. They traveled, made friends and were happy.

First signs of trouble revolved around their families

For Vanessa: “I sacrificed to leave my family, and I made concessions in my career in Chicago because I thought we were going back to Texas.” For Brandon, it was the death of his mother, his father coming to live with them and the birth of their son—all in one year.

By 2013, when their son was nearly three, things began to change. Brandon became snappish and began drinking too much. Vanessa learned that he he’d had an affair. This was his reaction to the events in his life.

They spent a year in therapy exploring the roots of their divide

Family was important to Vanessa. She wanted to move home to Texas and wanted another child. He wanted neither.

Divorce became inevitable

In 2014 Vanessa and their son moved to Texas. Brendan visited frequently and spent weekends with their son, who hated when his father left at the end of their visits. In the summer of 2015, Brendan left the firm where he had made partner and moved to Houston. A year later they all moved back to Chicago. “Culturally and educationally, Chicago better fit our values for raising a young child,” he said.

A living solution that was right for their family: Nesting: Two houses for three people

Despite their Divorce, they now are purchasing a home for their son who will stay in that home with one of them as they each take turns living in a separate residence that is also shared. This is referred to as nesting — providing the child of divorce one consistent, stable place to call home.

Feeling stigmatized by Divorce

Brendan feels that there’s a stigma associated with divorce, that their solution for keeping their family together isn’t understood by all. Vanessa wants people to understand that they are a family—though their living arrangement is a little unconventional.

As seasoned divorce lawyers, the economics of their Divorce were settled fairly, with the flexibility necessary to accommodate two parents living in an expensive city raising a child. Yet their incomes now must cover two households, not one. Their son is too young to understand divorce. “He knows there was a time when mom and dad didn’t live together, but he knows we are a family.” They always use the word “we”, as in “we are giving you this gift”. They made a conscious decision not to use the word “divorce” with him.

Life after Divorce: Their priority is raising their son

Having an equal partner helps when one of them travels or has other commitments. “We are clear the marriage is over, but I care about Brendan and what happens to him because he is my family,” she said. Both agree that their son is the best thing that happened to them and that they’ve grown up through the divorce process.

Is their new life better?

In some ways, yes. “I have a lot more freedom, and if I am honest with myself I found marriage restrictive.” She concurred: “I always felt I had to ask permission for everything, for having my own life apart from the family.” The move to Texas had to happen to prove that it wasn’t right for our family.

Advice for others contemplating Divorce

• Compassion for each other. Their own Divorce has made these lawyers more compassionate when dealing with their clients.
• Don’t say anything to the kids until you have a plan.
• There’s happy divorce and I’ll-never-see-you-again Divorce. Be creative and understand the range of options for divorce.
• “If there are children, minimize their exposure to adult issues,” she said. “All a kid wants to know is that everything is going to be okay. Be a rock even if you don’t feel like one.”

California Document Preparers has helped hundreds of families get divorced

Our dedicated team has helped hundreds of families get divorced. We’re responsive and available throughout the process. It starts with an office visit to review the Divorce process, responsibilities and costs. If you’re contemplating Divorce, schedule an appointment today to talk to one of our team. We’re helpful, compassionate and affordable.

Divorce and the New Tax Laws: What You Need to Know

As if Divorce weren’t stressful enough, the GOP Tax Cuts and Jobs Act that was signed into law last December may be creating additional anxiety for divorcing couples. If you’re getting divorced or thinking about Divorce, you should absolutely be paying attention to these changes. Not understanding how they will affect your Divorce can be a very expensive mistake.

 1. Tax rates got lowered and the standard deduction got higher

• The new tax law lowered the tax rate for most taxpayers–generally good news, right? It also doubled the standard deduction that every taxpayer who didn’t itemize deductions used to get. That may make you think your income taxes will drop in 2018, but like everything this Congress does, there’s more to the story, and it’s rarely good news.
• Fewer people are likely to itemize next year because the standard deduction–what you can subtract from your income before figuring out how much taxes you owe–is nearly doubling to $12,000 for single filers, $18,000 for heads of households and $24,000 for married couples that file jointly.
• Despite lower tax rates, some filers who usually itemize could see their taxes rise because many popular deductions are being reduced or eliminated. State and local income taxes, sales taxes and property taxes were fully deductible under the old tax law. Now they are capped at a combined $10,000 annually. There are also limits on how much interesthomeowners can deduct on new mortgages.

2. Personal exemptions

• In the past, when you filed your taxes, you claimed yourself and each of your kids as dependents on your taxes. Known as “personal exemptions” or “dependency exemptions,” these tax breaks allowed you to subtract a certain amount of money from your taxable income for every dependent you claimed. The more dependents you claimed, the more money you could subtract.
• When couples divorced, they often argued over who got to claim the kids as dependents on their taxes. The new tax law has eliminated all of these personal exemptions. Beginning in 2018, and continuing through 2025, no one will get a tax exemption for claiming the kids as dependents.

3. Child tax credit

• Before 2018, the child tax credit lowered the amount of taxes that parents paid by $1,000.00 per “qualifying child.” In the new tax law, Congressincreased the amount of the child tax credit to $2,000. They also dramatically increased the amount of money that parents could make before the child tax credit gets phased out. That’s the good news.
• A child only qualifies for the child tax credit for the parent who can claim him/her as a dependent. In your Divorce settlement you still need to negotiate which parent can claim each child as a dependent. If you don’t identify who can claim the child as a dependent, you risk losing the child tax credit. That can be a big deal because the child tax credit directly reduces the amount of income tax you pay. It doesn’t just reduce your taxable income. It reduces your taxes. And really, who wouldn’t want to pay $2,000 less in taxes per year?

4. Education expenses (529 Plans)

529 Plans are special tax-advantaged savings accounts that parents could create to save money for college educational expenses.

• In the past, 529 Plans could only be used to fund “Qualified Higher Education Costs”–college tuition and certain other college expenses.
• Now, if your kids are going to private school, you or your spouse could use the kids’ college money to pay for it. That will save you from having to pay the private-school tuition yourselves.
• Under the new tax laws, parents can take up to $10,000 per year out of a child’s 529 Plan and use it to pay for that child’s elementary or secondary school tuition.
• Deciding what to do with your kids’ 529 Plans is now one more thing you can negotiate in your Divorce.

5. Moving expenses

When a couple divorces, someone has to move out. In many cases, the person who moved out also gets a new job.

• Before this year, if you were moving because of a new job, you could deduct your moving expenses from your taxable income.
• Now, you can’t, and moving can be expensive—this may be something you negotiate in your Divorce settlement.

6. Mortgage interest and HELOC payments

Under the current tax law, you can deduct the interest you pay on your home mortgage. You could deduct that interest if it was on any kind of a mortgage or home equity loan. It didn’t matter if you actually used the money to pay for your home or pay off your credit cards.

• That’s all changed now. The new tax law limits the mortgage interest deduction to interest paid on the first $750,000 of your loan—not $1,000,000.
• To be deductible, the loan must also be used to buy, build, or substantially improve the home that secures the loan. That also applies to home equity loans and lines of credit.
• The IRS has now closed a potential means of cash flow that often made settling your Divorce easier.

7. Medical expenses

The changes to the medical expense deduction are positive. Before, you could only deduct medical expenses that exceeded 10% of your adjusted gross income. Now you can deduct medical expenses that exceed 7.5% of your income. There’s a bigger chance that you’ll be able to deduct medical expenses on your taxes. Congress made this change retroactive to 2017 so that you can take advantage of this tax deduction immediately. But before you get too excited about this, be aware that there’s an insidious component to this tax change.

• From 2019 on, the deduction threshold goes back up to 10%. But get this: Congress just gave us a two-year reprieve on the medical expense deduction.
• In order to deduct medical expenses at all, you must itemize your deductions. Since fewer people will be able to itemize their deductions in 2018, fewer people will be eligible to use this deduction.

8. A repeal of the deduction for alimony payments

In a previous article, we discussed the repeal of a deduction for alimony payments, effective 2019. Potential divorcees have the rest of 2018 to use the alimony deduction as a bargaining chip in their negotiations with estranged spouses. Many believe that removing this deduction will make Divorces more acrimonious, that people won’t be willing to pay as much alimony. Since it is women who tend to earn less and are most often the recipients of alimony, many believe this tax change could disproportionately hurt women.

Consulting a tax professional

Even if you are just thinking about Divorce, it’s wise to consult an accountant or financial planner who can identify problems and opportunities for deductions that may not be apparent to you.

We’ve assisted hundreds of couples with their uncontested Divorces

If you and your spouse are in agreement about your Divorce—including division of property and a parenting plan–we can assist you and help you save a significant amount of money. Contact us at one of our three Bay Area offices to schedule an appointment. Our dedicated team is helpful, compassionate and affordable.

The Grown Kids of Divorce Look Back

For parents considering divorce, their already busy lives just ratcheted up a few notches. They’re now worrying about the economics, whether they’ll need to sell the family home; they’re wondering how they’ll manage being a single mom or dad. Most of all, they’re worried about how divorce will affect their kids.

The HuffPost published a Reddit thread that asked the now-grown kids of divorce to look back and think about Divorce and the impact it’s had on their lives.

1. Acted out at school; took on more responsibility at home.

   One ten-year old kid admitted to bullying tendencies. Seeing his parents’ marriage dissolve made things worse.“My parents’ divorce increased my bullying tenfold. After a couple of weeks, I started feeling depressed and became really quiet and shy. It was tough not understanding why your dad has to leave and why your mother cries herself to sleep at night. The good news: I stepped up and became a fiercely protective and loving big brother to my younger sister.”

2. Felt a sense of relief.

   This one was fairly common. Many said they spent their teen years wishing their parents would divorce. “My parents wouldn’t divorce because they’re Catholic. Once my mom finally did leave my dad, I was relieved. I remember thinking that I hated my dad and wished he would just disappear. I had to wait until my early 20s for it to happen.”

3. The financial strain of living in a single-parent household.

   Money struggles were a constant in many households. After the divorce, one kid, his mom and sister moved into a one-bedroom apartment. His mom worked two jobs to make ends meet, sometimes picking up a third. “It was all about giving us a good life, which she absolutely did. We may not have had the best clothes or everything we wanted, but she always tried to give us everything she could, and we never went hungry. My mom is incredibly heroic for raising us on her own. I don’t even care that I barely hear from my dad.”

4. The blame game.

Life as you know it changes when your parents split up. Rebellion is common. “I went off the rails. I refused to take responsibility for my own actions and blamed my parents for everything. I bought into the pity and coddling of those around me.”

5. Struggled with the divorce, even as adults.

   Those families who waited to divorce until the kids are grown/out of school don’t necessarily have it any easier.“I was 29 when my parents divorced, and I’d been living away from home for much of that time, but it still hurt because my father is a jerk who waited until my youngest brother turned 18 to officially leave my mother.”

6. They didn’t take kindly to one parent badmouthing the other.

   One kid’s mom had primary custody, and she began to dread weekends with her dad. “The hardest part was listening to all the crap he said about my mom and still does. My dad always told me that I was manipulative and playing games with him. It took me more than 18 years to figure out that I wasn’t a manipulative, game-playing control freak. I was the daughter of one!”

7. They were happy to see their parents thrive after the divorce.

   One child, whose parents’ divorce was distressing at first, became convinced it was for the best by seeing how happy they were without each other!“My dad seems to be excelling at life now. He is more outgoing and independent. He likes to tell me about all the new things he’s doing and the friends he’s making. This is the best thing they could have done for themselves.”

California Document Preparers has helped hundreds of families get divorced. Our dedicated team is responsive and available throughout the process. It starts with an office visit to review the Divorce process, responsibilities and costs. If you’re contemplating Divorce, schedule an appointment today to talk to one of our team. We’re helpful, compassionate and affordable.

7 Ways One Can Benefit from Divorce!

Whether you’re in the process of getting a Divorce or still just thinking about it, you understand the toll that it will take on you and your family. Divorcing couples are faced with the stark reality that they will be starting a new life as a single person, often a single parent, and on a single income. As couples divide their lives, property and parental responsibilities, they are relieved to be ending what is generally a troublesome relationship, but that ending can leave them with significantly fewer assets and retirement savings.

Most of the articles about Divorce are endless discussions of the negative effects on budgets and families. But here’s a look at seven financial benefits that could help make a sad situation a little brighter.

1. Easier budgeting and more control over money

The end of a marriage can mean the end of fights over money. If one spouse is a carefree spendthrift and the other is thrifty, the relationship will inevitably run into serious conflicts. The expenses you and your partner prioritize and the way you spend money are fundamental to a relationship. If this is one of the issues that has driven a wedge between you and your spouse, and ultimately caused your Divorce, you are looking forward to freedom from having to plead with your spouse to rein in spending.

Nancy Hetrick, a senior financial advisor with Better Money Decisions in Phoenix is an example. In the six months after her Divorce to a spendthrift husband, she accumulated $20,000 in savings, while her ex racked up tens of thousands in debt over the same period. This is a dramatic example of different priorities about how to spend money. In this case, it drove a couple to Divorce.

2. Early access to a retirement fund, penalty-free

A Divorce is one of the few times a person can pull money out of a retirement account early and not be slapped with an early withdrawal penalty. If a Qualified Domestic Relations Order is reached as part of a Divorce, it allows for an early withdrawal from the account. This money is exempt from the typical 10% penalty assessed to those younger than age 59 ½. Note that income tax still needs to be paid if the money is not rolled into an IRA.

Cashing out part of a retirement account can be a risky move, and should only be considered after receiving sound financial and tax advice, but it gives the newly divorced some much-needed cash-flow flow at a difficult time when money may be tight.

3. Potentially better investment returns

Divorce could mean better investment returns, at least for women. Men usually take a more aggressive approach to investments and take more risks. After a Divorce, women have the opportunity to take over their own retirement planning, which ultimately can be advantageous.

4. More college financial aid for the kids

Divorce can be hardest on children, but there is one place where they come out ahead–college financial aid. The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) only requires financial information from the custodial parent rather than both parents. However, child support and alimony received from the noncustodial parent must be included on the FAFSA application. Additional financial aid is a little-known benefit of Divorce, but one that can be significant.

5. Social Security perks for older divorcees

Divorced spouses may be eligible to file for Social Security spousal benefits at retirement. If you were married to your spouse for at least ten years, you’re entitled to these benefits. This is something the ex-spouse doesn’t know you’re doing, and it has no impact on the benefits the ex-spouse receives.

If you were 62 by Jan. 1, 2016, you can file a restricted application for Social Security spousal benefits once you hit full retirement age. No longer allowed for younger workers, this application will allow you to receive half of your spouse’s benefit, while you defer your own and let it grow until age 70. For married couples, this only works if a person’s spouse has already started his/her benefit. For divorced couples, you don’t have to wait until your ex-spouse turns on Social Security.

6. Opportunity to reset financial priorities

Many divorced couples end up resenting the lifestyle changes necessitated by their Divorces. Divorce often means selling the family home; membership in the country club may no longer be affordable. Moving to a more modest neighborhood or apartment may be unsettling. Financial experts point out that a Divorce gives people the opportunity to rethink their priorities. It well may be that giving up a family home is a good thing—families are often significantly overextended with huge mortgages, spending more than they can afford, constantly challenged to keep up with their neighbors. Downsizing and living an affordable lifestyle can be a relief.

7. A better bottom line

Divorce doesn’t have to mean a depleted bank account. Even on a lower income, divorced people can build wealth by making smart use of their resources. Not everyone’s financial situation will improve with Divorce, but some people are surprised to learn that it does.

Getting a Divorce isn’t something to rush into, but if you find yourself in the midst of a crumbling marriage, don’t despair. You can still come out ahead. While it is always disruptive and emotionally draining, many couples enjoy new lives that are free of constant tension and bickering.

Are you contemplating Divorce? 

If it’s uncontested, we can help you. Our dedicated team is helpful, compassionate and affordable. Contact California Document Preparers at one of our three Bay Area offices today to schedule an appointment.

Getting Divorced? Have You Reviewed Your Estate-Planning Documents?

Divorce has become a reality for many couples, and for most, the details of dividing property, developing a parenting planand helping their kids adjust to what will be a new family situation are consuming. There are often additional challenges, including selling the family home, packing, moving to a new neighborhood and enrolling in a new school. With these kinds of pressures, it’s not surprising that people aren’t thinking about their Living Trusts and other estate-planning documents at times like this. But failing to update these documents to reflect the changes in your life can have significant long-term consequences.

California: A community property state

According to California’s community property law, upon divorce, each party is entitled to half of all property accumulated during the marriage, and each spouse is entitled to retain control and ownership of separate property.

• Once divorced, most estate-planning documents are legally nullified, yet that nullification can be enforced only if an estate is submitted to Probate.
• While the divorce is pending, those documents remain in force unless legally modified.
• If one party dies before a divorce is granted, the courts may treat the parties as if they are still married, depending on the stage of the divorce proceedings when the death occurred.

Temporary restraining order prevents disposing of property without spousal consent

When someone files for Divorce in California, the court issues an automatic temporary restraining order (ATRO). This order prevents either party from disposing of any property–whether community, marital, or separate–without written notice to the other party. If that order is ignored, the offending party may be assessed attorney’s fees and be ordered to provide full restitution. However, nothing prevents making changes to appointments and bequests in estate-planning documents. So if one spouse were to sell or redistribute a property without notifying the other spouse, there would be consequences, but changing the way that property will be distributed in a Living Trust is legal.

Divorce clients: Strongly consider reviewing your estate-planning documents

Because of the document nullification issue, it may be in the best interest of Divorce clients to review their Wills, Living Trusts, Powers of Attorney and Advanced Health Care Directives. It may be time to revoke your Joint Trust and create new individual Trusts. Appointing new representatives and adjusting bequests ensures that intent is clear and will not be subjected to legal challenge. Failure to adjust bequests can raise the question of whether someone actually intended to benefit an ex-spouse. Documents that are revised and executed after a Divorce assure that the issue has been addressed.

Family law is an important service for us. We’ve helped hundreds of couples get divorced. For those who may be contemplating Divorce, we are happy to answer questions and explain how we work with our clients. Contact California Document Preparers at one of our three Bay Area offices today to schedule an appointment. We’re helpful, compassionate and affordable.

Thinking about Divorce? 7 Ways to Keep it Affordable

Many couples considering divorce may be miserable, but they remain together because of the economic difficulties of splitting their assets and their lives.

Divorce rates dropped during the recession and began to climb again when the economy improved. One of our clients and his wife had purchased a large home in Alamo when times were good; when the recession hit, he lost his great job and they lived on one salary—hers–in a home with a huge mortgage. The economic pressures destroyed what was left of their marriage, yet they couldn’t afford to get divorced, so they lived in separate camps in that huge house that they tried to sell, but no one was buying. Unfortunately, this kind of story is not uncommon. But while the economy is now stronger, couples who come in to our offices for assistance with their Divorces invariably have been thinking about this for a long time, and economics is often the primary obstacle.

Divorce often requires downsizing, including selling the family home.

There are now two households to support, and it may mean downsizing or selling the family home. But Divorce doesn’t have to be financially crippling. There’s another important factor: the emotional toll that highly contested legal battles and their financial aftermath take on the family. No one emerges unscathed from these battles, and it can leave children scarred.

Fortunately, there are alternatives.

1. Counseling

This should be your first consideration. Even if you tried counseling and it had no lasting effect, it might be time to try another therapist. Do some research and to find someone who’s a fit for you; there’s a lot at stake.

2.Agreement on distribution of assets, custody and a parenting plan

If Divorce is inevitable, sit down and try to reach an agreement on how you’re going to split assets and debts, child custody arrangements and how you will share parenting responsibilities. If you can’t reach an agreement, hire an experienced mediator that you both trust. Mediators are results-oriented and will work with you to identify solutions.

3. Quit worrying about what you think is fair

Fair gets very subjective. Forget also about what you’ve learned from other people’s Divorces. Look at the big picture—an equitable division of property and peace and sanity for your family.

4. Don’t expect the judge to resolve your issues and defend your rights

Figuring this out is your responsibility; the legal system is not designed to address personal family issues. Your overriding concern should be your children—putting their needs first to make the transition as smooth and normal as possible is the ideal. Keeping kids in the same schools and neighborhoods creates continuity, but they also adjust to new routines.

5. Figure out when it is time to just let it go

In the interest of time, expense, and emotional fatigue, start to get used to compromise.

6. Make a complete and accurate list of all liquid assets, income and expenses

Don’t rely on your spouse to do this for you. Gather all the information you need and then begin the process of division with your spouse. If necessary, a financial adviser can be an excellent investment. In many cases, a neutral outsider can give expert advice on the best way to decide the long-term value of retirement accounts vs keeping and maintaining the family home, etc.

7. Consider hiring an alternative organization to assist you

If you and your spouse can reach agreement on division of property and custody issues, California Document Preparers can take the sting out of the financial impact of hiring an attorney. We’ve helped more than 2,000 people get divorced, and they never have to set foot in court. We prepare the legal documents and file them. In the rare cases where people still have issues to resolve, they often find that our office environment provides the privacy and neutrality that helps them work through issues.

Are you considering Divorce?

Call California Document Preparers at one of our three Bay Area offices today to schedule an appointment. Our dedicated family law specialists are happy to answer your questions about the process, including the timing and how we work with our clients. You can also use our easy-to-use, secure online storefront to jumpstart the process–we’re still available by phone and email if you have questions. We’re helpful, compassionate and affordable.